“Friendship, if somebody holds out his hand toward you, you’ve got to reach and take it...There are too many people alone, and if you’re lucky enough for somebody to want you as a friend, it’s an obligation.”
Katharine Hepburn said that in her 1956 film, “The Rainmaker.”
I consider myself beyond lucky.
One of my very best friends was in town this week for a couple of days and she and I planned to have dinner to catch-up.
We spent two hours gabbing and making sure to cover every topic before she had to leave again. I even prepared a list of “Things to Discuss.” We talked about family, school, friends, people who test our patience, boyfriends and struggles.
I have told her, as I’ve told my other friends, that it is extremely difficult to keep in touch with friends once college starts. Everyone is busy, everyone is stressed and everyone is being pulled in 10 different directions. But I know I am blessed.
All of my friends are busy all the time, but we still somehow make time for each other. We try to have dinner once a month, or meet for coffee during the week, or plan a silly sleepover with some girls at a friend’s apartment. The effort to spend time together is what is important.
That’s what a friendship is about — trying. Each side has to put forth an honest effort to stay together, to maintain that relationship. If one side slacks by bailing on plans, not making plans at all, not calling, not texting, not sending the occasionaly Facebook wall post, then the friendship feels the strain. It will become weak and break.
This can be a test to the truth of a friendship — how far is someone willing to go for you? How are they showing you they care? How are you showing them the same? A friendship cannot live on a weak effort. It takes work the same way any other type of relationship takes work. It is not easy, nor is it always perfect, but if it means enough to you, you will try.
I think a friendship is about understanding someone, loving them no matter what, being honest but not cruel, not judging, and doing everything possible to be there for that person.
To me, a friend doesn’t have to be right beside you 24/7, or even call you every day. They just need to be present in your life and willing to be close to you.
Even though my friend was only going to be in town for two days before going to visit her boyfriend, she made a point to let me know she was going to be here, when she could have easily stayed home to rest from school, which she desperately needed. She also drove almost three hours last month just to come to my birthday dinner, and two other friends raced from cheering at a volleyball game just to be with me that day. They even said they would make it if they showed up in their uniforms. That’s true friendship right there.
I know I’m very lucky to have the friends I have, and because they are so good to me, I try to be good to them. My friends are essentially my family. They support me, spend time with me, put up with me, laugh with me, cry with me, pray with me and love me.
As a friend, you don’t have to tell me you care, just show me. My friends show me all the time. My friends have been so good to me, what would make me leave them now? They make me happy and I think I make them happy because they keep calling me. So, why would I leave them? Why wouldn’t I try my best to be the best friend I can be to them?
Katharine knew what she was talking about.
The Brown-eyed Girl
Lucky enough to have friends
Published: Thursday, October 22, 2009
Updated: Thursday, October 22, 2009 02:10
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